Covered up and Holding back

"A woman of virtual does not need to be test driven like a car to prove a point because a man of integrity knows the manufacturer who created her. She is high quality!" - Paxina Mumba

Hey guys,

I hope you are all doing great! I’ve been slacking on blogging lately and I have a completely valid excuse (lies)! I had some other things I was dealing with and I was not in the right mindset to blog. There are times when I tell myself I should blog even when I don’t feel like it but that would be doing a disservice to you guys as there would be absolutely no inspiration there.

I was scrolling through my news feed on Facebook and someone posted the quote above and it really had me thinking about women and relationships. The more I thought about it, the more upset I started to get about all the dumb stuff that we women put ourselves through. There are a lot of young and older women that feel the need to perform all the wifely duties just to show their boyfriends that they will make a good wife. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being a good girlfriend. You can cook for your man sometimes but women need to stop giving men all the benefits of having a wife. A woman cannot live with a man for 10 years and then wonder why he's still not ready to marry her. Why should he when he already has a 'wife' taking care of him without the commitment?

I remember having a conversation with my manager one day and he absolutely insisted and even highly recommends that couples should live together before they get married and I completely disagree. I don't know about your cultural background or religious beliefs but being African means that you are not leaving your parents house to go live with a man who is not your husband and neither are you moving out on your own even when you can afford to do so. Irrespective of the culture, if you are a christian, that is just something that you do not do. Some churches may even refuse to marry you if they find out that you are living together.

There was one time that Kevin (my husband) suggested that maybe we should move in together before we get married. I had a whole list of reasons why that would NEVER happen. I refuse to clean, cook, do laundry, and take care of a man that is not my husband without a marriage commitment. And no, marriage is not just a piece of paper. It is a covenant before God that says 'this is the person that I choose to be one with'.

When I first started dating, I never introduced any of my boyfriends to my parents. Partly because I was too scared to do so. I always said the first guy they’ll ever meet is the one I’m going to get married to. When Kevin and I started dating, my parents didn’t meet him until 2 years later and even then, that was an accident. They just run into him as he was dropping me off after church. My dad never stopped asking me if this was serious because according to him, there’s no point in dating unless you plan on getting married. He had to relax a bit on the whole marriage thing, all I wanted was to get to know the guy.

To sum it all up, I just wanted to let my fellow ladies know that it’s okay to hold back and keep some stuff to yourself. By doing that, you will weed out all the jerks! Contrary to public opinion, it’s okay to not move in with your boyfriend just to see if you are compatible. Marriage is not a test drive, it’s a commitment. Love is not a feeling, it’s a choice.

Photo Gallery DSC_5033 (2) DSC_5042 (2) DSC_5034 (2) DSC_5043 (2) DSC_5060 (2) DSC_5048 (3) DSC_5040 (3) I almost forgot that I was working on a fashion post. I'm sure Boohoo smiles every time I log onto their website. I have purchased a lot of stuff from them the previous months and I don't regret any of it :-). I really wanted to purchase some long wool coats this winter and I found this olive green coat and another tan coat for only $80 each minus 30% off. I love the coats and they are worth every penny. My only problem with them is that they do not have any pockets. Whose dumb idea was it to create coats without pockets? I've almost dropped my phone many times trying to put it in pockets that don't exist.