Dealing with Grief During the Holiday Season
“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.”
The holidays are upon us and there’s nothing harder than spending them without a loved one. This post has been so difficult for me to write because I haven’t had the right words to say that would be meaningful or perhaps impactful enough to touch the heart of someone that is going through a difficult time. Last week, my family suddenly lost my cousin in Zambia from a seizure and the shock of it all, has been devastating for the whole family but especialy for my aunt and his immediate siblings.
There are so many families at the moment that are grieving the loss of a loved one. I know there are also a lot of people that do not like the holidays because it reminds them of loved ones that are no longer with them at this time of the year when families get together to celebrate.
Dealing with grief is not something that you get over one day; it’s a void that you live with for the rest of your life, but it gets easier with time. Everyone grieves differently and some ways work for some and not others. My prayer is that one of these may help you deal with your grief one way or the other.
1. May you rest in the comfort of the Almighty - I believe that God shows up when we gather together in church and other places, but if you really want to know where he lives, you will find him in a place of brokenness. Every time I’m going through a hard time, I’m always reminded that God is close to the broken hearted and he DAILY bears our burdens. Below are some of my favorite verses pertaining to weariness and brokenness.
· Psalm 34:18 - “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
· Ecclesiastes 7: 2, 3 - “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.
· Psalm 90:12 - “So teach us to number our days, that we may present a heart of wisdom.”
· 1 Peter 5:7 - “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
· Psalm 68:19 - “Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.”
2. You are still alive for a purpose, use your life to make a difference - God created us and knew when our time on earth would be up. The fact that you are still here today is proof that God is not finished with you yet; you still have a purpose that is yet to be fulfilled. When you lose a loved one, life does go on and it’s up to us to make a conscious decision to keep going on.
· Job 14:5 - “A person’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.”
3. Live as if today is your last day on earth - pursue your dreams, be kind, have fun, travel the world if you can. I love the following quote by Steve Jobs, it’s part of a speech that he gave to the graduating class at Stanford in 2005. “When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "no" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
4. Remember your loved ones would not want you to dwell in depression - If you ask any of your loved ones that are still living, if they would like you to stop living your life and dwell in depression when they pass, they will give an emphatic no!
5. Lean on your faith for comfort - we were never meant to walk through this life alone, thank God for the gift of the Holy Spirit who provides comfort, strength, guidance, and so much more.
· John 14: 16 -18 - “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”
5. Lean on your faith for comfort - we were never meant to walk through this life alone, thank God for the gift of the Holy Spirit who provides comfort, strength, guidance, and so much more.
· John 14: 16 -18 - “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”
6. Seek a support group/grief share if you need to - sometimes it doesn’t hurt to join a group of people that have gone through or are going through the same thing that you are. It can be comforting to know that someone else has been through it and they can be a source of encouragement to you.
7. Remember that whatever you are going through, someone else is going through something worse - the more you focus on you and your problems, the bigger they will seem to get. Take your eyes off you and take the time to pray for someone who is going through something worse and God will take care of your situation.
P.S - About the Pics: I took these pictures during my trip to Bali; they are a perfect intro to my Bali Travel Diary, which is almost done and shoud be up on the site soon. I never thought having too many pictures would be an issue but it’s been overwelming to organize them in a way that makes sense for you guys. Stay tuned and thank you for stopping by!
